Getting a lender to budge on underwater home sales - tips?

Looping in a supervisor is kind of a gamble, honestly. I’ve done it a couple times when my short sale was just sitting there with no updates. Sometimes it lights a fire, but other times it just means your file gets shuffled to the bottom of a new pile. Here’s how I usually approach it, for what it’s worth:

1. First, I try to get as much info as possible from the frontline rep - ask for timelines, next steps, and if there’s anything missing on my end. Sometimes they’ll admit they’re waiting on something simple.
2. If nothing moves after that, I’ll ask (politely) if there’s a way to escalate or if a supervisor can review. I try not to sound like I’m blaming anyone - just that I’m stuck and need help moving things along.
3. When I do get a supervisor, I keep it short and stick to facts: “Here’s what’s happened, here’s what I need.” No long stories or venting.
4. After escalation, I follow up every couple days. Not every day - that just annoys people - but enough so they know I’m not going away.

I agree with you that sometimes it just adds more layers and slows things down. One time, the supervisor literally repeated everything the first rep said and then told me to wait another week... super helpful.

But on the flip side, I’ve had one supervisor actually call the negotiator directly and get my file moved up. It really depends on who you get and how overloaded they are.

If you’re dealing with an underwater sale and the lender’s dragging their feet, sometimes you have to push a little harder. Just be ready for some extra waiting or even having to resend docs they “lost.” It’s annoying but seems par for the course.

And yeah, cookies probably wouldn’t hurt... but at this point, maybe coffee would work better.

Couldn’t agree more about escalation being a mixed bag. I’ve had files sit for weeks after looping in a supervisor, and honestly, sometimes it feels like you’re just starting over with someone else who’s equally swamped. One thing I’ve found is documenting every call and email - dates, names, what was promised - makes it easier to hold them accountable when things stall out. Not sure it speeds anything up, but at least you have a paper trail if they try to claim you never sent something. The “lost docs” excuse is way too common... I’ve started sending everything twice, just in case.

Totally get what you mean about the “lost docs” excuse - had that happen to me more than once. I’ve even had a lender say they never got my hardship letter, even though I sent it certified mail. At this point, I keep a spreadsheet with every little detail, just in case. Sometimes I wonder if flooding them with follow-ups actually helps or just gets me labeled as “that person” in their system... but I guess it’s better than being ignored. Anyone ever try calling at weird hours? I swear I’ve had better luck catching someone helpful late in the afternoon, when things are quieter.

I actually tried the “call at weird hours” trick and, honestly, it backfired for me. I got someone who sounded like they were halfway out the door and just wanted to get me off the line. Maybe I just have bad phone luck, but I swear the more I follow up, the more they seem to “misplace” my stuff. At this point, I’m half convinced they have a special folder for people like me… labeled “persistent but annoying.” I still document everything, but sometimes I wonder if less is more.

I hear you on the “persistent but annoying” folder - it honestly feels like that sometimes. I’ve had situations where the more I tried to be proactive, the more my paperwork seemed to vanish into the void. In my experience, it’s less about frequency and more about timing and content. I had better luck when I sent one really thorough, well-documented email (with attachments and a summary) and then gave them a week before following up. Calling at odd hours never worked for me either; it just made everyone grumpy. Sometimes, less noise but more substance gets you further.

I get where you’re coming from, but honestly, I’ve seen the opposite work too. Sometimes, if you’re not a squeaky wheel, you just get ignored - especially with big lenders who are juggling a million files. I had to call every other day for two weeks before anyone even acknowledged my short sale request. Maybe it’s annoying, but being “persistent but annoying” actually got me results when being polite and patient didn’t. Guess it depends on who’s on the other end of the inbox...

Yeah, being the polite ghost in the inbox rarely gets you anywhere with these big lenders. I always joke that you have to be politely relentless - like, just annoying enough to stay on their radar without making them block your number. It’s wild how much difference a little persistence can make. Had a client once who literally sent weekly “just checking in” emails until someone finally caved and moved her file to the top of the pile. Sometimes you’ve gotta channel your inner squeaky wheel, even if it feels awkward.

I get the whole “politely relentless” thing, but honestly, sometimes I think too many check-ins just make them tune you out faster.

“just annoying enough to stay on their radar without making them block your number”

I hear you on the “less is more” approach. I tried the constant follow-up thing once - felt like I was nagging my own parents for allowance money. Didn’t get me anywhere except ignored. The one time I actually got a response, it was after I sent a single, super clear email with everything attached, like you said. Maybe they just want it all in one place so they can check a box and move on? Or maybe I just got lucky that day... Hard to tell with lenders, honestly.

The one time I actually got a response, it was after I sent a single, super clear email with everything attached, like you said. Maybe they just want it all in one place so they can check a box and move on?

Honestly, you nailed it. Lenders are usually drowning in paperwork, and if you make their life easier, you’re way more likely to get a response. I used to think bugging them would show I was serious - turns out it just gets you on the “ignore” list. One concise, organized package is the way to go. It’s not luck, it’s just about playing their game. They want to close files, not have conversations.

I’ve been through this dance a couple of times, and honestly, the “one email with everything” approach is spot on. The first time I tried to get my lender to consider a short sale, I sent over piecemeal docs and followed up every couple of days. All it did was confuse things - half my stuff got lost in their system and I had to resend it anyway.

Second time around, I put together a single PDF with every doc they asked for, labeled everything clearly (like “Paystub_March2024” instead of just “paystub”), and included a quick cover letter outlining what was attached. Sent it once and waited. Got a response in three days.

It feels counterintuitive not to keep checking in, but from what I’ve seen, less is more. They’re just trying to check boxes and move your file along - not have back-and-forths about every detail. If you make it easy for them to say yes or move forward, you’ll get farther than if you’re constantly pinging them. Learned that the hard way...

Totally agree about the “one and done” email. Lenders seem to have a black hole for docs - if you send stuff piecemeal, half of it just vanishes or ends up mismatched. A single, organized PDF is way less likely to get lost in the shuffle.

A couple more things that helped me:

- Double-check their required doc list. Sometimes they update it and don’t tell you, so I’d call once before sending anything just to confirm.
- I always included my loan number in the subject line and on every page of the PDF. It sounds overkill but it saved me a headache when they “couldn’t find” my file.
- If you have a negotiator assigned, try to get their direct email or extension. The general customer service line is a nightmare.

I did follow up after a week if I didn’t hear back, but just once. You’re right - too much checking in seems to slow things down. They’re just working through a checklist, not making this personal.

It’s a frustrating process, but making their job easier really does move things along.

I hear you on the “one and done” approach - makes life easier for everyone. Out of curiosity, has anyone actually had a negotiator who was responsive? I swear mine changed three times mid-process and getting a straight answer was impossible. Is that just the norm, or did I just get unlucky?

- Had the same issue - negotiator roulette. One deal, I had three different contacts in two weeks. Each one gave me a slightly different answer on timelines and docs needed.
- From what I’ve seen, it’s pretty common, especially with the bigger banks. Smaller lenders sometimes stick you with one person, but even then, they’re juggling a ton of files.
- The lack of consistency is brutal when you’re trying to keep buyers and sellers calm.
- Ever tried escalating to a supervisor? Sometimes that gets you a more stable point of contact, but not always.
- Curious - has anyone actually gotten a lender to move faster by being persistent, or is it just a waiting game no matter what?
- Also, does anyone have luck with third-party negotiators or is that just another layer of confusion?

Feels like there’s no magic bullet here, but maybe someone’s cracked the code...

Getting a lender to budge on underwater home sales - tips?

I’ve been through this recently and honestly, persistence only got me so far. I called and emailed every few days, but the process still dragged. Escalating to a supervisor helped a bit - at least I finally got consistent answers, but it didn’t really speed things up. Tried using a third-party negotiator once, but it just added more back-and-forth and confusion. In my experience, there’s no real shortcut, just lots of patience and keeping your own paperwork super organized so you’re not the one holding things up.

Honestly, I’m skeptical about third-party negotiators too - sometimes they just complicate things. Have you ever tried leveraging a backup offer to get the lender’s attention? I’ve seen that push things forward, but it’s not always a sure bet. Curious if anyone’s had luck with that approach...

Have you ever tried leveraging a backup offer to get the lender’s attention?

Tried it once, actually. It did get the lender to respond a bit faster, but they still dragged their feet on approving anything. I’m always wary of putting too much faith in backup offers - sometimes it just gives everyone false hope. Lenders can be stubborn, especially if the numbers don’t work for them. I’d say it’s worth a shot, but definitely have a plan B (and maybe C) lined up...

- 100% agree, backup offers are a mixed bag. Sometimes they light a fire under the lender, sometimes it’s just more paperwork and waiting.
-

“Lenders can be stubborn, especially if the numbers don’t work for them.”

Honestly, I’ve tried the “faster close” angle and it barely made a dent. The only time I saw movement was when I got everything super organized - docs, proof of funds, even a pre-inspection report. Still, if the lender’s not motivated, it’s like pushing a rope. Sometimes it feels like who you get on the phone matters more than what you offer.

I’ve run into the same wall a few times, and honestly, I think you’re spot on about who picks up the phone. One time, I had all my paperwork squared away - like, every possible doc in a neat little folder - and still got nowhere until I managed to reach a supervisor who actually cared. It’s frustrating how much hinges on internal motivation rather than just having your ducks in a row. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth pushing or if it’s just better to walk away before wasting more time and energy.