WHEN "IT'S STANDARD" JUST DOESN'T CUT IT
I’m right there with you—“it’s standard” is basically code for “I hope you don’t ask more questions.” The first time I tried to buy, the lender brushed off every single question I had about fees. At one point, I asked what an “origination charge” actually covered and got a shrug and a “that’s just how it is.” Nope. Hard pass.
Honestly, if someone can’t walk me through the numbers, I start wondering what else they’d gloss over. I’m not expecting them to recite every line from memory, but at least make an effort to explain. The last thing I want is to get blindsided by some “surprise” at closing because I didn’t push back hard enough.
Maybe I’m extra cautious, but it’s my money on the line. If that makes me a “difficult” customer in their eyes... fine by me. There are too many horror stories out there about hidden fees or last-minute changes—not worth the risk. If a lender can’t be upfront from the jump, that’s all I need to know.
“it’s standard” is basically code for “I hope you don’t ask more questions.”
Couldn’t agree more—when someone leans on “standard,” it’s usually a red flag for me, too. I always tell clients: if a lender can’t break down every fee and explain what you’re paying for, that’s a problem. Transparency is non-negotiable. I’ve seen buyers get hit with “processing” or “underwriting” fees that no one bothered to clarify until closing. It’s your right to know where every dollar goes, and honestly, the best lenders are happy to walk you through it. If they aren’t, there are better options out there.
Honestly, “it’s standard” just makes me want to dig deeper. I once had a lender try to slip in a $600 “doc prep” fee—when I asked what it was for, they got cagey. That was my cue to walk. If they can’t explain, I’m out.
That “it’s standard” line always gets my hackles up too. I’ve seen all sorts of fees pop up over the years—some legit, some just padding. Here’s how I usually handle it when a quote feels off:
1. Ask for a full itemized breakdown. If they can’t or won’t provide it, that’s a red flag.
2. Google every fee you don’t recognize. There are industry standards, but there’s also a lot of gray area.
3. Compare with at least two other lenders. Sometimes you’ll see the same fee everywhere, but the amounts can vary wildly.
4. Push back on anything that seems inflated or vague. I’ve had lenders drop “processing” fees just because I questioned them.
Honestly, if someone gets defensive or dodgy when you ask for clarification, that’s usually all I need to know. There are too many options out there to settle for someone who won’t be transparent. Not every fee is a dealbreaker, but lack of honesty definitely is for me.
That “it’s standard” excuse always makes me pause too. I’ve had lenders try to rush me past the details, like I’m supposed to just accept whatever’s on the page. Once, I asked for a breakdown and suddenly a $400 “courier fee” vanished—funny how that works. I don’t mind paying for real services, but if someone can’t explain a charge in plain English, I’m out. Transparency isn’t too much to ask, especially with something as big as a mortgage.
