I’ve run into that same defensiveness when I started asking about “processing” or “admin” fees during my last refi. One lender actually got a bit cagey and just said it was “standard practice,” which didn’t really answer anything. I ended up focusing more on the total closing costs than just the rate, since those fees can really add up—especially with VA loans, where you’d think things would be more transparent. I did get one lender to shave off a couple hundred bucks after I showed them a competitor’s estimate, but it felt like pulling teeth. The whole thing really does feel like haggling at times...
One lender actually got a bit cagey and just said it was “standard practice,” which didn’t really answer anything.
That “standard practice” line always makes me suspicious too. I’ve noticed some lenders will break out every tiny fee, while others just lump things together and hope you won’t ask. When you compared closing costs, did you find any weird or unexpected charges? I’m curious if anyone’s actually had luck getting a lender to waive something entirely, or if it’s just a matter of negotiating down the amount. Sometimes I wonder if there’s a real limit to how much they’ll budge, or if it’s all just smoke and mirrors.
I’ve definitely seen some oddball fees pop up—one time there was a “courier fee” for $80 and I just laughed because everything was done online. I pushed back and they dropped it, no questions asked. In my experience, most lenders have a little wiggle room, especially on the administrative stuff, but they won’t budge on things like VA funding fees or taxes. Has anyone ever managed to get a bigger fee like the origination charge reduced? I’ve never had much luck there, but maybe I’m just not pushy enough.
I know what you mean about those random fees—had a “processing fee” show up once that nobody could really explain. Like you said, they dropped it as soon as I questioned it. I’ve noticed the same thing:
That’s been my experience too. The VA funding fee is set by law, so no dice there.“most lenders have a little wiggle room, especially on the administrative stuff, but they won’t budge on things like VA funding fees or taxes.”
As for the origination charge, I’ve actually had some luck getting it trimmed down, but only when I was willing to walk away or had another lender’s offer in hand. Lenders want your business, and if you’re refinancing, they know you have options. It’s not always a huge reduction—maybe a few hundred bucks—but it adds up. Sometimes they’ll “offset” it by giving you a lender credit instead of actually lowering the fee on paper, which is kind of sneaky but still helps.
I’d say don’t be afraid to push back harder than feels comfortable. Worst case, they say no... but sometimes they surprise you.