Getting a lender to budge on underwater home sales - tips?

Calling every day can backfire; I’ve seen files “mysteriously” get buried when someone gets too pushy.

That’s interesting - I've wondered if there’s a sweet spot between being persistent and just getting on their nerves. Has anyone tried looping in a higher-up at the bank when things stall, or does that just make it worse?

I’ve wondered if there’s a sweet spot between being persistent and just getting on their nerves.

Totally get where you’re coming from. I’ve been through this dance a couple times now, and honestly, it’s a fine line. The first time, I called every other day, thinking I was showing “initiative.” My file sat untouched for weeks. The second time, I checked in maybe once a week, and things moved a bit faster. Maybe coincidence, maybe not.

Looping in a higher-up is tempting when you’re stuck, but in my experience, it’s a bit of a gamble. Once, I cc’d a supervisor after three weeks of radio silence. Got a response the next day, but the tone was... let’s just say, not thrilled. It did get things moving, but I always wondered if it made them less cooperative behind the scenes.

I guess it comes down to reading the room - some folks appreciate a nudge, others see it as stepping on toes. If you do go up the chain, I’d keep it polite and factual, not accusatory. Just my two cents from the trenches. Hang in there - it’s frustrating but doable.

Finding that balance is tricky, no doubt. I’ve had lenders drag their feet for weeks, and it’s maddening when you’re just trying to keep a deal alive. In my experience, persistence pays off, but it’s all about timing and tone. I usually set a reminder to check in every 5-7 days - enough to stay on their radar without being a pest. If I sense things are stalling, I’ll send a short, polite email summarizing where things stand and what’s needed next. Sometimes just laying out the facts (without sounding pushy) gets them moving.

I’ve escalated before too, but only after documenting everything - dates, who I spoke with, what was promised. That way if you do have to loop in a supervisor, you’re not coming across as unreasonable. It’s more like, “Here’s the timeline so far - can we get this unstuck?” Not gonna lie, sometimes it ruffles feathers... but sometimes it’s the only way.

You’re not alone in feeling frustrated. These deals can be a grind, but staying organized and keeping your cool really does help. Hang in there - it’s tough but doable.

Getting a lender to move feels like pulling teeth sometimes. I totally get what you mean about “timing and tone” - I’ve been worried about coming off as too pushy, but if you don’t follow up, it’s like you just fall off their radar. That 5-7 day reminder idea is smart.

“I’ve escalated before too, but only after documenting everything - dates, who I spoke with, what was promised.”

I’m curious - when you escalate, does it actually speed things up? Or do they just get annoyed and drag their feet more? I keep hearing mixed things about whether it’s better to just keep nudging the main contact or go over their head if nothing’s happening. Also, how detailed do you get with your documentation? I’ve got a spreadsheet going but sometimes it feels like overkill.

One thing that’s tripped me up is knowing if the delay is on my end or theirs. Like, is there a way to tell if they’re stalling for a legit reason or just not prioritizing my file? I guess I’m still figuring out when to push and when to just wait it out... It’s stressful not knowing if patience or persistence is the right move.

Escalating has worked for me, but only when I’ve got everything lined up - dates, emails, the whole paper trail. Sometimes it lights a fire, other times it just gets me a canned response. I keep my spreadsheet pretty detailed, but honestly, half the time I wonder if anyone’s even reading it. As for delays, I usually ask directly if they’re waiting on something from me. If they dodge the question or get vague, that’s when I start pushing harder. It’s a weird balance - too much patience and you get ignored, too much pressure and they might slow-walk you out of spite.