How do you even pick a realtor you can trust?

I’ve seen some agents get weirdly impatient about “simple” questions, which is wild considering how confusing this stuff can be.

That’s honestly one of my biggest pet peeves. If an agent can’t handle basic questions without acting annoyed, it’s a red flag for me. When I refinanced last year, I had a million questions about the process and my agent never made me feel like I was wasting her time. That made all the difference.

On the text/email vs. in-person thing, I lean toward responsiveness over digital channels. Life gets busy and sometimes you just need a quick answer without scheduling a meeting. That said, if someone’s great in person but takes days to reply to emails, it gets frustrating fast—especially when you’re waiting on time-sensitive info. Ideally, you want both, but if I had to pick, I’d go with someone who’s quick to respond, even if their in-person vibe is just average.

Totally agree—patience is huge, especially since real estate can feel like a maze if you’re not in it every day. Quick tip: I always tell folks to test an agent’s responsiveness before committing. Send a few questions over email or text (even basic ones) and see how they handle it. If they’re slow or seem annoyed, that’s usually how it’ll go when things get stressful, too. In-person charisma is nice, but if you’re waiting days for answers, it’s just not worth the headache.

In-person charisma is nice, but if you’re waiting days for answers, it’s just not worth the headache.

Yeah, I hear you, but sometimes the most responsive agents are just good at texting, not actually getting deals done. Ever had someone reply in five minutes but then drop the ball on negotiations? I’d rather have someone who’s a little slower but actually hustles when it counts. For me, I always ask about their last few deals—how did they handle tough spots? That tells you more than a quick reply ever will.

I get where you’re coming from. Quick replies are nice, but they don’t always mean someone’s actually working for you. I’ve seen agents who are lightning fast with texts but then disappear when it’s time to negotiate or solve a problem. That’s frustrating.

You mentioned,

“I always ask about their last few deals—how did they handle tough spots?”

I’d add: don’t be afraid to ask for specifics. “Tell me about a deal that almost fell apart and what you did.” If they stumble or give a vague answer, that’s a red flag. At the end of the day, you want someone who’s steady under pressure, not just glued to their phone. Quick responses are great, but follow-through is what really matters.

Couldn’t agree more about quick replies not being the whole story. I’ve had agents who were super responsive at first, but when it came to crunch time—like negotiating repairs or dealing with a low appraisal—they just kind of faded into the background. That’s when you really see what someone’s made of.

Here’s how I try to break it down, especially since I’m always watching my budget and can’t afford any surprises:

1. Ask for concrete examples, like you said, but also dig into *how* they communicate during those tough moments. Do they keep you in the loop? Or do you have to chase them for updates? If they’re vague or dodge specifics, that’s usually a sign they might not be as hands-on as you need.

2. Check their references, but don’t just ask if the clients were happy—ask if there were any hiccups and how the agent handled them. Sometimes people are polite and say “everything was fine,” but if you press a bit, you get more honest feedback.

3. Look at their negotiation style. I actually ask potential agents to walk me through a negotiation scenario—like, “What would you do if the inspection comes back with major issues?” Their answer tells me a lot about whether they’ll fight for me or just try to close fast.

4. Transparency on fees and costs is huge for me. If an agent glosses over commission details or doesn’t explain what’s negotiable, that’s a red flag in my book.

5. Last thing—I always pay attention to whether they listen to my priorities (like sticking to my budget) or just push listings above my price range. If they’re not respecting your limits early on, it probably won’t get better later.

Quick replies are nice, but I’d rather have someone who takes an extra hour to get back to me if it means they’re actually working on solving problems behind the scenes. Had one agent who texted back instantly but never seemed to know what was going on with my offer... that got old fast.

At the end of the day, steady under pressure beats speedy thumbs every time—especially when your money’s on the line.