How do you even pick a realtor you can trust?

For me, I started asking for references up front and actually called them. Ever tried grilling past clients before making your pick?

I’ve definitely gone down the reference route, but honestly, I found it a bit hit or miss. Most agents only give you their happiest clients, so it’s kind of like reading only the 5-star reviews. When I refinanced last year, I actually did a mini-interview with three agents. Here’s what worked for me:

1. I asked for a timeline of their last five deals - how long each took, any hiccups, and how they handled them.
2. I checked their online reviews, but focused on the negative ones to see how they responded.
3. I sent them a list of questions by email and timed how fast they got back to me (and how thorough the answers were).

It’s not foolproof, but it weeded out the ones who were slow or gave canned responses. I get wanting to “grill” past clients, but sometimes you just have to trust your gut after a few conversations. No perfect system, but at least you can spot the red flags early.

Honestly, I get what you’re saying about references being cherry-picked, but I still think there’s some value in talking to past clients - even if they’re the “happy” ones. Sometimes people will drop little hints if something was off, like “they were great, but we did have a miscommunication here and there...” That kind of stuff tells me more than a canned review ever could. I do like your idea of focusing on how agents respond to negative reviews though. That’s pretty telling about their character and how they handle tough situations.

That’s a really good point about picking up on subtle hints during those reference calls. I’ve noticed the same thing - sometimes it’s what people don’t say, or how they phrase things, that stands out. Like you mentioned:

“they were great, but we did have a miscommunication here and there...”

Honestly, that “but” in reference calls always makes my radar go up too. I’ve had clients who ignored those little warning signs and regretted it later. I also think it’s telling when an agent owns up to mistakes - nobody’s perfect, but dodging responsibility is a dealbreaker for me. Sometimes I’ll even ask a tough question just to see how they handle it... you learn a lot from their reaction.

I get where you’re coming from about the “but” in references - definitely a red flag sometimes. Still, I’ve found that being hyper-focused on those little qualifiers can make you overlook some genuinely good agents who just aren’t perfect communicators or maybe had one tricky client. Here’s how I see it:

- Not every “but” is a dealbreaker. Sometimes people just want to be honest and balanced, and they’ll mention a minor issue even if it didn’t actually impact the outcome.
- I’ve had agents who admitted to mistakes, but then overcompensated by being overly cautious or defensive later on. That can be just as frustrating as someone who dodges responsibility.
- The tough question test is useful, but I’ve seen agents get flustered just because they’re nervous - not because they’re hiding something. Some folks just aren’t great under pressure, especially if they’re newer.
- For me, track record and local knowledge have ended up mattering more than how someone handles a curveball question. One of my best experiences was with an agent who was awkward in interviews but absolutely relentless when it came to negotiations.

I guess my take is: don’t write someone off too quickly for minor communication quirks. Sometimes the best agents are the ones who aren’t slick talkers but really know their stuff behind the scenes. Just my two cents...