I get where you’re coming from, but sometimes I wonder if being too focused on past mistakes can actually backfire. Like, yeah, I want someone who’s honest, but if an agent is super eager to talk about every little thing that went wrong before, I start worrying they’re just not that experienced or maybe they mess up a lot. I mean,
—sure, but what if they only had one or two deals go sideways out of a hundred?“if they can’t be upfront about past hiccups, I start wondering what else they’re hiding”
I guess I’m more interested in how they communicate in general and whether they seem organized and responsive. If they own up to stuff but also show they learned from it, that’s cool. But if every convo turns into a confession session about old deals gone bad, that’s kind of a red flag for me too. Maybe it’s more about balance? Just my two cents.
Balance is everything, right? I’m all for transparency, but if every meeting turns into a “here’s how I messed up in 2019” story, I start to wonder if I’m just the next chapter. My quick checklist: 1) Are they quick to respond? 2) Do they explain stuff without making it sound like rocket science? 3) Can they show me a game plan, not just war stories? Honestly, I don’t need a saint—just someone who learns and moves on. Life’s messy, but buying a house doesn’t have to be a therapy session...
Title: Picking a Realtor: Is Transparency Overrated?
Life’s messy, but buying a house doesn’t have to be a therapy session...
I get where you’re coming from—nobody wants to sit through a confessional every time they meet with their agent. Still, I’d argue that hearing about past mistakes (within reason) can actually be pretty valuable. When I bought my first place, the realtor was almost too polished. Everything was “handled,” but I never really knew what could go wrong or how she’d deal with it if it did. It felt like she was selling me on her image more than her process.
Now, I’m not saying I want to hear every gory detail about deals gone sideways, but if someone can say, “Here’s what happened, here’s what I learned, and here’s how I’d handle it differently for you,” that builds a different kind of trust for me. It shows they’ve been in the trenches and aren’t just reciting best practices from a manual.
Your checklist makes sense—quick responses and clear explanations are huge. But sometimes those “war stories” are the only way to know if someone’s actually learned from experience or is just good at talking the talk. The trick is balance, like you said. If it starts feeling like group therapy, that’s a red flag. But if they never admit to any missteps at all? That worries me even more.
I guess for me, the ideal is someone who can own their history without making it the whole conversation. A little humility goes a long way in this business. And honestly, sometimes those stories are the only reason I knew what questions to ask later on...
Honestly, I get the appeal of a realtor who can admit they’ve messed up before, but sometimes those “war stories” feel a bit rehearsed to me. Like, are they sharing because it’s useful, or just to seem relatable? I’d rather see how they handle stuff in real time—missed deadlines, tricky negotiations, whatever. Actions beat stories. I’ve had plenty of agents talk a good game about learning from mistakes, but then drop the ball when things get messy. At the end of the day, I care more about how they deal with curveballs right now than what they say about the past.
You’re not wrong about the “war stories” thing—sometimes it does feel like they’ve got a script. I’ve sat through my share of coffee meetings where agents just rattle off the same three tales about saving a deal at the last minute or whatever. It’s fine, but it doesn’t really tell me how they’ll handle my situation when things go sideways.
Honestly, I started asking for specific examples of recent deals—like, what went wrong *last month* and how did you fix it? Then I watch how they communicate in the early stages. Are they responsive? Do they actually follow up on what they say? No one’s perfect, but I want someone who owns their mistakes and fixes them fast, not just someone who talks a good game.
You’re on the right track focusing on actions over stories. Trust is built in real time, not just in rehearsed anecdotes. Don’t feel bad for being picky—it’s your money and your investment on the line.
