I wonder about that too—some people get weirdly uncomfortable when you suggest writing things down, like it's a trust issue or something. When we borrowed from a family friend for our kitchen reno, he actually brought it up first, which was a relief. He joked that he didn't want to end up on Judge Judy, haha. Did your friend seem relieved once you had it all down on paper, or was it more of a "fine, if we have to..." kinda thing?
"some people get weirdly uncomfortable when you suggest writing things down, like it's a trust issue or something."
I get what you're saying, but honestly, I think it's less about trust and more about clarity. When we bought our first place last year, my partner and I briefly considered borrowing from family. But after talking it over, we realized that even with the best intentions, misunderstandings happen way too easily—especially when money's involved. Writing things down isn't necessarily about mistrust; it's just practical. It sets clear expectations for everyone involved and avoids awkwardness later on.
Your friend joking about Judge Judy is funny, but there's some truth there... I've seen friendships sour over vague agreements that started out totally friendly and casual. Maybe your friend was relieved because he felt the same way deep down? Or maybe he just knew it was smart to have everything clear from the start. Either way, I'd argue that putting things in writing is actually a sign of respect for the relationship—not a lack of trust.
Totally agree with this. When we refinanced our house, we borrowed a small amount from a close friend to cover some unexpected closing costs. Even though we trusted each other completely, we still wrote down the repayment terms. Honestly, it made things way less stressful—no awkward guessing or assumptions later. It's not about trust issues, just about keeping things clear and fair for everyone involved.
"It's not about trust issues, just about keeping things clear and fair for everyone involved."
Exactly this. I've seen friendships strained because people thought they didn't need anything in writing—then memories got fuzzy about repayment terms. Even if you're borrowing from someone you trust implicitly, jotting down the details protects both sides. We did something similar years back when my brother-in-law lent us cash for a renovation. Having clear terms actually made family dinners less awkward, haha...
Definitely agree about clarity. A few years ago, a close friend asked me for a small loan to cover some unexpected car repairs. At first, I felt a little weird suggesting we write it down—like it implied I didn't trust her or something—but she actually thanked me afterward. Turned out it helped her feel less guilty and anxious about the whole thing because the expectations were clear from the start.
Honestly, having a simple note or even an email exchange outlining repayment terms can make everything smoother. It doesn't have to be formal or legally binding; just something you both can refer back to if memories get fuzzy (which happens more often than we'd like to admit...). It's not about trust at all, just good communication and protecting your friendship in the long run.
