Alright, I'm at a bit of a crossroads and could use some real talk from folks who've been through this or know the ropes. Basically, bankruptcy is on the table for me (ugh), and my main dilemma is what to do about my mortgage. I've got two options, and both have their pros and cons, but I keep going in circles.
Option one: Try to keep the house. This would mean reaffirming the mortgage, keeping up with payments, and hoping I can swing it long-term. The idea of not uprooting my kids and having some stability is nice, but honestly, the payments are a stretch even on a good month. Plus, I worry about getting stuck if the house loses value or something else goes sideways.
Option two: Let the house go, walk away, and just rent for a while. This feels like a fresh start, less stress about money every month, and maybe I could rebuild my credit faster without that huge debt hanging over me. But then again, rents are kinda nuts right now, and moving is expensive (not to mention the emotional side of leaving our home).
Has anyone here faced this choice? Did you regret keeping your house, or was letting it go the better move? I keep reading conflicting stuff online—some say hang onto your home at all costs, others say cut your losses and move on. Curious what actually worked for real people, not just what the articles say. What would you do in my shoes?
I was in a similar spot a few years back and ended up refinancing to lower my payments, but that was before rates shot up. You mentioned,
Have you looked into whether your lender would work with you on a modification or forbearance? Sometimes they’ll negotiate if you’re upfront about your situation. Curious if you’ve run the numbers on what renting would actually cost vs. your current mortgage (including taxes, insurance, repairs, etc.)? That made a big difference in my decision.“the payments are a stretch even on a good month.”
Honestly, I’ve seen folks surprised by how much renting can actually cost once you factor in all the “extras” you don’t think about at first—pet fees, utilities, renters insurance, and those random landlord rules. Like you said,
If you’re barely scraping by, it’s worth seeing if your lender will budge. Sometimes they’ll work with you, sometimes not, but it’s less risky than jumping ship too fast. I’ve had clients regret selling when rent ended up being just as high, if not higher, than their old mortgage. It’s a tough call, but running the real numbers usually clears things up a bit.“the payments are a stretch even on a good month.”
That’s a solid point—people often underestimate how pricey renting can get once you add up all the little things. I’ve seen folks rush to sell, thinking it’ll be easier, but then get hit with sticker shock on rent and fees. Sometimes just talking to your lender and laying out the numbers gives you more options than you’d expect. It’s not always fun, but it can save a lot of regret down the line.
I’ve seen folks rush to sell, thinking it’ll be easier, but then get hit with sticker shock on rent and fees. Sometimes just talking to your lender and laying out the numbers gives you more opt...
KEEPING THE HOUSE ISN’T ALWAYS WORTH THE STRESS
I get wanting to hang onto your place for the kids’ sake, but honestly, if those payments are already a stretch, it’s only going to get tougher post-bankruptcy. I tried to “tough it out” with my old house after a job loss, and it just kept me stressed and broke for years. Renting wasn’t cheap, but at least I could budget without that constant fear of missing a mortgage payment or surprise repairs. Sometimes the emotional cost of staying is higher than you realize until you finally let go.
